i have taken a while to post a new blog. i have been busy with work and school and other commitments that come with what we call life. life.

MCHONGOANO

Mchongoano is a product of the Kenyan sheng culture. Sheng is a slang word for a distinctly urban dialect that is mainly spoken by young people born after the 70's. Sheng creatively fuses both English and Swahili languages and sometimes words from some of the 42 tribes to come up.



One interesting element of the Sheng language is Mchongoano or what Americans would call dozens. This is basically a duel of words and wit. Usually two people battle it out with each other and the winner is the one who delivers the most laughter through punch lines. Here are some of the newest verbal darts.


Ati first time yako kubuy gari ulisema ufungiwe
unaenda mbali

I heard the first time you bought a new car you asked for it to be wrapped since you were going far.

Ati kwenu mko upto date mpaka watoi wenu
wakipigwa wana vibrate badala ya kulia.

Your family is such geeks; instead of the kids crying, they vibrate.

naskia nyi ni wengi mpaka nyi hukunywa chai na sprinkler

There is so many of you in your family; tea is fed to through a sprinkler

first time uliona soda,ulifinya finya kujua gani ni ripe

The first time you saw a soda, you insisted on pressing on it to feel if it was ripe!

naskia we ni fala mpaka ulienda cyber ukaulizia stamp ati ndio uweke kwa email

You are so primitive, every time you go to an internet cafe you ask for stamps to send your email.

Nilikupata umezubaa ukiangalia chupa ya orange juice...ati juu imeandikwa "concentrate"....

I caught you staring hard at a bottle of orange juice because it was written "concentrate"!

Naskia ulienda para sunday school

I heard that for Sunday School, you attended a parallel school! (parallel schools are thought to have less competitive admission requirements)

naskia simu yako iko na slot ya coins.?

I heard your cell phone has slots for coins!

una kichwa sooo ukithink kuna echo....?

You have such a huge head, when you think, thoughts echo inside!

ati you r so ugly vile ulizaliwa uliwekwa kwa incubator tinted ndio usi shtue watoi wengine.....

ha,haaaaa!!You are so ugly that when you were born, they put you in an incubator with tinted glass so as not to scare the rest of the kids.

ati umekonda mpaka ukivaa vest bado unakunja sleeves

You are so skinny even when you wear a vest, you have to fold the sleeves!

Ati T.V yenu iko na mouse..

You are such a geek, your TV has a mouse!

THAT GIRL DIED OF DEMOCRACY

That little girl died of democracy,
You can tell by the way she lay in death
Yellow crayon fell out of her pocket
As they loaded her body onto the trailer with the rest
School opens in a few weeks,
But her friends dispersed like pollen in the wind
If from the other side she could only take a peek,
And behold the sight of the forlorn mass exodus,
She might just be glad that she had to take leave
From this uncouth abode that’s supposed to be nesting us
For as much as she longed to show off her new clothes
And tell her school friends about places that she went
Or even how uncle Ben sucked Spaghetti up his nose,
Her words would only have echoed through the charred wasteland ;
For her friends, either dispersed like pollen in the wind…
Or like herself, they all died of democracy

HEAT, SMOKE AND DUST.

Now I miss the dust; not the clouds trailing the heels of fleeing crowds -
I miss the friendly brown sheets of earth - dancing with the wind during merrier times.
Though the dirt reddened my eyes with tears, all that cried was my eyes.
Now my heart is crying out, for my old, peaceful dusty streets.


Now I miss the heat; not the smoldering sanctuary that cremated them -
I miss twelve o’clock on the equator - on us the lazying lenses beaming down.
Though the ultra-violet rays darkened my skin, all that darkened was my skin.
Now my heart is full of gloom, longing for those hot, slow afternoons.


Now I miss the smoke; not the billowing marker of mayhem -
I miss the ghostly smog of the city - man and machine getting along.
Though the fumes oft chocked my lungs, all that chocked was my lungs.
Now I am chocking up, at the memory of the normal chaos.

A well balanced debate, I think, about Majimbo (federalism).


http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3980802316718195927